The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.
“How could you do this!” he exclaimed.
“I don’t know,” she wailed.
“I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, ‘Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.’ “
“Well,” the pastor persisted,
“You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, ‘Get behind me, Satan!’”
“I did,” replied his wife,
…
..
.
“but then he said ‘It looks great from back here, too!’”
===========================
Two crocodiles were lounging by the river, enjoying the sun.
After a while, the smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I don’t understand how you’re so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, and we were the same size as kids. What happened?”
The bigger croc replied, “Well, what have you been eating?”
The smaller croc said, “Mostly politicians who come here with their mistresses, just like you!”
The big croc nodded, “I see. So where do you catch them?”
“On the other side of the river, near the car park.”
The bigger croc thought for a moment, “Same here. So, what’s your method?”
The smaller croc explained, “I wait under one of their fancy cars, like a Lexus or Mercedes. When someone unlocks the door, I jump out, grab them by the leg, and shake them until they’re too weak to fight back.”
The bigger croc chuckled, “Ah, I think I see your problem. By the time you’re done shaking them, there’s nothing left but a briefcase!”
========================================
A Guy Was Visiting A Crocodile Farm One Day
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm one day, and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.
The owner of the farm shouted, “Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore will receive 10 million dollars.”
The silence was deafening.
Suddenly, a man jumped into the water.
He was chased by crocodiles, but with great luck, he was unharmed.
The owner announced: “We have a winner!”
After receiving their reward, the man and his wife returned to the hotel room.
The man said to his wife, “I did not jump in myself; someone pushed me!”
His wife smiled and said coldly, “It was me!
Moral of the story:
Behind every successful man, there is always a woman who gives him a little push!
